Opposable Thumbnail Sketches of Goals

If, if I do this next bench press competition, on a beach in a singlet, I will go about it all wrong.

Last time: hit chest, tris hard. Kept other muscles just above maintenance. Hit the protein. Rarely did cardio.

Outcome? Was bored and stressed. Announced retirement.

This time: Working everything hard. Joining a "Boot Camp" plyometric/calisthenic class to keep up the conditioning. Am eating a mostly raw foods diet, aided by my ten-dollar juicer/major garage sale find.

Why be contradictory? I don't want to be bored and stressed. I want to stay conditioned. I want to eat a healthier diet because it makes me feel better. I'll work at the bench all the while, and what will be will be. Not as much invested this time, which is ironic, because this competition is more formal and official--the pause at the chest kind, wear a singlet, qualify for state record competitions if you do well competition.

If, if I do this, I'm doing it for fun. I'm doing it to compete alongside my friends, who will probably best me.

On a beach. In a singlet.

I wonder if Spanx are legal attire?


  1. Hey, I didn't get this title at first. That's really funny.


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