When the technician on my mammogram said not to be surprised if I'm asked to do this again, if they call because the pictures aren't clear, something like that, she didn't say they'd call and get specific, saying the tissue looks "different" in the left breast and that there's a "nodule" to be further examined.
I wasn't going to write about this.
It's common to be retested. Any melodrama made now could be made null in a week, after mammogram number two.
But then again, this could go either way.
You know how when you're traveling, and you step into a hotel room, or someone's guest room, you take it all in as new? You might lie down on the bed as you would your own, yet you're aware of the feel of it, the spongy spring to the mattress and the laundered scent of the blanket.
That's what's happening to me.
The test, then, is not only what comes next week, but whether I can keep a hold on this way of being.