Sunday, January 29, 2012

These Things Are Wrong

1. Our local chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation hosting a pancake breakfast.

Let it be known that Type 1s can have pancakes. They may eat anything they want if they inject themselves with the proper amount of insulin. But pancakes are difficult to account for, as are bagels and pizza, rice and potatoes. The glycemic index mixes with the fat content to produce a blood sugar unpredictability that I, for one, avoid when possible.

Maybe I would have forgiven JDRF for this fundraiser had it not been for our one visit to their office. At an open house, they served--wait for it--chocolate cake. And soda. And boxes of chocolates.

Once again: Type 1s can have their cake and eat it, too. Theo has desserts often. Yet an organization devoted exclusively to the management of blood sugars could maybe come up with something other than cake, chocolates and pop to serve.

I pulled out the calculator near Theo's cake, and said, half-jokingly, "You're going to tell us the carb count for this, right?"

"Ha!" the director answered. "Good luck with that."


2. Exciting Easter Crosses.

Oriental Trading Company is already advertising Easter, and each year at this time my kids and I hastily flip through their catalog to get to our favorite product: "Exciting Easter Crosses."

In a section bragging "Religious Crafts kids love," you'll find these exciting representations of Christ's crucifixion, which you can decorate with small lambs, hearts, and your name (optional).

Also holding their own in the excitement category are these products:

  • Inflatable "He Lives!" Beach Balls
  • "He Lives!" Footballs
  • Easter Inspirational Paddleball Games

..and my personal favorite,

  • Plush Long Arm Religious Gorillas

Online descriptions and names differ slightly from the catalog, but I promise you: I'm not making this up.

And, in the interest of full disclosure, I admit to buying the Exciting Easter Crosses once when my kids were really small.

Too much excitement: we never fully recovered.

9 comments:

  1. I was so amazed by Plush Long Arm Religious Gorillas that I had to tweet them. Who knew?

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  2. However, the JDRF people have pissed me off...

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  3. We could strangle them with a long armed primate, perhaps?

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  4. 1. wow. not too surprised though since we have encountered similar unfortunate food items at our local JDRF gatherings (as well as lack of carb info, wth!)

    2. WOW. i clicked in easter and searched for 'cross' and got even more squicked. yeesh.

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    1. I am waiting for JDRF to do something to redeem itself in my eyes, but hasn't happened yet.

      At Hobby Lobby yesterday, I saw some foam crosses that had an even better name, but doggone it if I can remember. Started with an F, and was something crazy like "Funky Foam Crosses."

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  5. Oriental Trading Company inspires a mixture of wonder and nausea. . .

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    Replies
    1. Too, their stuff breaks. Yet the catalog is irresistible.

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  6. I am also vexed by the JDRF, it's like holding a National Multiple Sclerosis Society meeting in a room with the thermostat always turned up way too high. (Heat causes most of the people with MS to become ill.)

    When I was working for the Dollar Energy Fund many years ago, one of my co-workers commented on the chocolate cross featured in the catalog for some benefit candy sale. She mockingly described it as a "loathsome sacrilege or tasty treat?"

    Most of the customer evaluations of the Plush Long Arm Religious Gorilla were positive, but someone did call Oriental Trading on the carpet for the pieces of long-armed monkey that ended up there. The complaint about this inspirational product was "fur loss."

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