Weird Stuff I Said To My Kids This Week

-
I won't even bother giving the context. Or a defense. Here goes...

1. "Please make a sign for the laundry basket that says, 'Wear pants more than once.'"

2. "Remember our conversation about the communists?"

and

3. "I'm not actually an alcoholic."

Comments

  1. Kimberly Long CockroftOctober 12, 2012 at 7:42 PM

    I totally need a sign for my laundry basket, too. How many times have I told the kids, "I'm tired of washing so many pairs of clean pants! And by the way, I'm not a communist. I just like a glass of wine at the end of the day."

    ???
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amy PhillipsOctober 13, 2012 at 8:37 AM

    Something like that!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

These Things Are Wrong

-
1. Our local chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation hosting a pancake breakfast. Let it be known that Type 1s can have pancakes. They may eat anything they want if they inject themselves with the proper amount of insulin. But pancakes are difficult to account for, as are bagels and pizza, rice and potatoes. The glycemic index mixes with the fat content to produce a blood sugar unpredictability that I, for one, avoid when possible. Maybe I would have forgiven JDRF for this fundraiser had it not been for our one visit to their office. At an open house, they served--wait for it--chocolate cake. And soda. And boxes of chocolates. Once again: Type 1s can have their cake and eat it, too. Theo has desserts often. Yet an organization devoted exclusively to the management of blood sugars could maybe come up with something other than cake, chocolates and pop to serve. I pulled out the calculator near Theo's cake, and said, half-jokingly, "You're going to tell us the ca...
Read more

The Test

-
When the technician on my mammogram said not to be surprised if I'm asked to do this again, if they call because the pictures aren't clear, something like that, she didn't say they'd call and get specific, saying the tissue looks "different" in the left breast and that there's a "nodule" to be further examined. I wasn't going to write about this. It's common to be retested. Any melodrama made now could be made null in a week, after mammogram number two. But then again, this could go either way. You know how when you're traveling, and you step into a hotel room, or someone's guest room, you take it all in as new? You might lie down on the bed as you would your own, yet you're aware of the feel of it, the spongy spring to the mattress and the laundered scent of the blanket. That's what's happening to me. The test, then, is not only what comes next week, but whether I can keep a hold on this way of being.
Read more

Getting Rid Of The Children's Pets, One Lonely Creature At A Time (The Video)

-
Theo, age 8, spent the summer collecting frogs and tadpoles from a nearby creek. With the help of his friend Ethan, who is 9 and can answer any and all questions on amphibians, Theo learned to distinguish leopard frogs from tree frogs, and studied their development daily on our back deck. Theo was so enamored with the whole operation that he wanted to purchase some more exotic strains. We visited a Pets Mart and hovered near a tank until a saleswoman came by. The right saleswoman, I should say; with disheveled hair and wire-frame glasses favoring one ear, this woman was all about the frogs. She hunched forward as if to let out a call that might travel the road back to our creek. My main concern was the amount of upkeep these $30 pets would require. "What do these frogs need, because our frogs from the creek...," I started to say, and immediately realized I had violated a sacred rule: removing the animal from its natural habitat. I tried to play it off. So did she--at first. ...
Read more