Last week, West Michigan experienced what a local meteorologist called one of the top storms in our history. 6.1 inches of snow fell on Tuesday, 11.1 on Wednesday. My kids had both days off of school, plus a two-hour delay on Thursday.
By Friday, I was outta here, opting to work by laptop at Panera rather than stay home. At a table nearby sat a mom of one of Theo's classmates.
"Can you believe this week?" she asked.
"I know," I said.
"And tomorrow's Saturday," she said, rolling her eyes. "Another full day."
Though we love our children, we need time away. Or rather, I need time away, and it was nice to have confirmation that I'm not crazy. Just that little commiserating gave me the boost I needed to get back on the mom track. It's why there are message boards, internet forums, Facebook pages devoted to any known cause. We need to know we're not alone. And yet.
Diabetes. Lots o' stuff to read on the internet, as you can imagine. I'm frequently asked if I've joined a support group for parents of children with diabetes--the in-person kind or internet--and I've learned to shorten a long, wandering response to "I'm not ready yet."
The shots, the filling prescriptions, the tasks we do at home are part of life now--time-consuming, yes, and inconvenient, as was seen Sunday when I burned both the eggs and the hash browns to the same hue while checking blood sugar levels. But the diabetes management is built in, and we're handling it.
On Fridays I go to Theo's school to refill supplies, switch out their insulin pen for ours, change their lancet, perform a control test on both glucose monitors, record their numbers into my log. This taxes me emotionally, but I can't say why. Most likely it's the responsibility these actions represent, though much of the hard work is behind me. The beginning of the school year saw me making charts and educating the secretaries before and during each new scenario that would arise; now, a fairly robust system is in place. And yet we still field an average of 4 calls per week to make decisions off the page, as diabetes is too complex for any one chart.
You'd think, then, with all this emotional upheaval, I'd seek comfort from other parents of kids with diabetes. And I do, some, but I get what I need, give a little, and get outta there. Though I appreciate all you d-moms, I can't linger at your sites; it drains me to read too much about diabetes. Don't call it denial, because I learn what I need to know and act where necessary. Lean over to the table nearby for a chat, then position my head back in front of my computer to work. Because life goes on; dwell too much on my son's diabetes, and the rest of life gets too heavy.
But that's me, and I've never been a joiner. Have you turned to support groups for encouragement? How was the experience?