Best (Worst?) Halloween Story Ever

My children are named Simon and Theo, and not for The Chipmunks, though we acknowledged, even at the second birth, that this connection would be made.

One Halloween, we went so far as to dress them as their chipmunk namesakes. I, Amy, was the remaining chipmunk, Alvin.

At thrift stores I found long turtlenecks in red, blue and green. For Simon I found black glasses (which would complete a Harry Potter costume a few years later), and for me, a red cap.

However, the costumes didn't feel finished with only these suggestive hints toward the characters. I tried shading with brown makeup to highlight chubby chipmunk cheeks, but the look still wasn't complete.

Teeth, I thought. The defining feature of a chipmunk is its teeth.

Once again I experimented with makeup, thinking I'd black out all but their front two top teeth. The makeup for this was waxy and wouldn't stay stuck. I'll just buy teeth, I thought.

I drove to several costume shops and quickly determined that their stash of brown with crowns wouldn't do.

At the last store, a saleswoman approached me. By now I'm tired of this hunt, so I come right out with it.

"Do you have buck teeth?" I ask.

She opened her mouth to answer, and I saw that she did.


  1. AHAHAH OMG i was not expecting that so i barked a laugh outloud that echoed off the walls of my house. NICE.

    has anyone ever made the chipmunks joke to you when they learn of your kids' names? my friend named her kids will and grace, and though she was afraid they would get teased, afaik, it hasn't come to pass.

  2. Yes, people will say it here and there, but we just explain that we liked the names. We had other names for #2, but when he came out all humongous, "Theo" just stuck.

    I'm glad to hear you laughed, though it's just horrible too, isn't it? I couldn't believe the quick turn of events.

  3. o buggar.

    sounds like something i would say.

    did she have any for you that were not in her mouth?


  4. I remember your stories of misspeaks, Kim...

    She did not have any buck teeth I could buy. I still cringe at the thought of this.

  5. No no NO! She didn't. Oh, she did. Oh dear.

    Remind me to tell you about the ONE person I've passed while running, what I said to them (yes I did) and what they said back to me.


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